My brain is fried. I have probably spent 30 out of my last 20 waking hours working on this site, subsequently fucking it up then undoing my fuck ups. It's starting to become an obsession - I could probably stand to take a bit of a break. So I think for a few days I'm gonna focus on learning JavaScript. I started going through some introductory material - setting up Node.js in VS Code, learning about variables and data types. I stopped the last vid halfway through because I think my ability to absorb information is reaching its end.
I also worry I'm becoming so absorbed in this stuff that I'm coming off as distant to my loved ones. It's hard for me to find balance, but I'm sure I can. I just wanna make my loved ones happy, but I also have to follow my passions. It's just a new skill to learn, and I've proven to myself lately that I'm more than capable of doing that. Life was mentally really rough for me up until recently, but I'm starting to have a little faith in myself. I just like to think of myself as a work in progress. I try not to worry too much about where I am, as long as I'm doing better than past me.
I think switching tracks for a bit will help me re-orient my mind, and come back to web design with a fresh perspective. I also need to start spending more of my free time messing with other creative stuff, like maybe learning to draw or picking up electronic music (since I can't even play my bass rn).
Viihna
04/02/2024