I've been fairly busy the last few weeks. While my mental health has been very up-and-down since my last journal entry, I think I've been managing fairly well. In the past, when I was dealing with mental or emotional difficulties, I would shut down and simply find more leisure activities to fill my time while accomplishing little to nothing. This time, I've been keeping myself busy and I think that's been key to my resilience and elasticity this time around.

Since my last journal entry, I finally got around to fixing my main desktop PC and GOD it feels so much better having my baby running at full power again. The only weak points with my system right now are a mid GPU (AMD RX580, not terrible, but I'd like more parallel processing firepower) and really mediocre monitors. Could probably also stand to get some more storage (I've got 2TB on deck but I'm a bit of a data hog, and I'd really like to add enough storage that I can have multiple backups of all my data). But damn, having my AMD 5800X, lightning-fast SSD's, and 32GB of DDR4 3200 RAM back feels like such a blessing. For reference, I've been working on a crappy laptop that likes to freeze up on Windows File Explorer. GOD that was infuriating. And being back on Fedora feels like coming back home after being on a shitty vacation (I LOOOOOOATHE Windows).

I've been learning a lot about Javascript, Bash scripting, and network architecture. It feels nice making consistent efforts to chip away at my goals. I feel rather accomplished after having made my first JavaScript project - a dice rolling program!

It felt fairly challenging for a starter project, and it did take me several days worth of work, but hell - I'm proud of myself. And that feeling I got when things finally started to click...that's straight up ADDICTIVE! I can't wait to move forward with my JavaScript studies and make more complex, immersive projects. Special thanks to Bro Code on Youtube for the fantastic beginner's JavaScript course. He teaches in a very simple and accessible way that has made it very easy to get started.

On a more personal note, something strange has happened. My mother-in-law and my mother, who haven't spoken to each other in over a decade, are finally willing to be amicable. Hell, they're going out to eat and seeing a movie next week, and they're talking to each other like best friends. It warms my heart to see that. Honestly, I never thought I'd see the day.

I've noticed I'm having trouble keeping work and personal relationships balanced. I tend to become a recluse for days at a time, ignoring texts and calls while I chip away at my current projects. I'm gonna try to work on that, because I don't want to push all my loved ones away like that. I'm sure it won't be a problem. Balance in all things.


- 04/15/2024

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